Get Your Marriage On! with Dan Purcell

Like many of you, I've had questions about BDSM for a long time. I've had preconceived ideas of what it was and wondered how it fits into my faith and the style of intimate play my wife and I enjoy.   I have also received emails and DMS from many of you listeners asking me about BDSM in the context of a faithful Christian marriage. I've been hesitant in doing an episode about this for a long time, until I found the right guest.   I used to think BDSM was dark and evil--a thinly disguised form of rape, aggression, and violence. I also thought it was antisocial if it was about enjoying inflicting pain on others, in some sort of a sick and twisted way. But then again, even a couple in a "vanilla" missionary position could be doing it with dark and evil intent. While sex in vanilla missionary position or BDSM play can be done in a loving, faithful, beautiful, playful, and deeply erotic way that deepens a couple's connections. In short, it's not really the act, but the intention behind the act that really matters.  After listening to this episode, you may want to try some of this couple's suggestions to enhance the joy and intimacy in your marriage. I met Alan and his lovely wife Leila through a men's group that I belong to. They're a faithful, wonderful, and upstanding couple married for nearly three decades.  I'm very grateful that they were kind and courageous enough to come on my podcast to share their experience with BDSM. They answered many of my questions and I hope you find this episode really insightful, too.   Note that this is going to be a two part episode. This is part 1 with part 2 being released next week. *** Couples Retreat - An intensive, romantic, and life-changing weekend that will strengthen your marriage and sexual intimacy. Virtual Lovemaking Retreat - Easily accessible due to its virtual nature, this retreat on February 14th-15th is the perfect Valentines gift to you and your spouse! Stay tuned for updates on this exciting retreat!  Men's Only and Women's Only small group coaching program -  The next cohort starts January 22nd.  We meet weekly for 12 weeks to do a deep dive into the intimacy of your marriage. And this includes a comprehensive course and all materials and coaching to help you apply everything you learn. You'll walk away from this three month program a better husband or wife and power to take your marriage to the next level.   Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.    

Ever feel like you wish your wife was a little less vanilla? Every wish your spouse would be more enthusiastic about trying new things in the bedroom (or out of the bedroom for that matter)? Ever ask your spouse what their fantasies are, and they look at you with a blank stare or an "I don't know"? Ever get frustrated when, after a discussion about your sex life and things get better for about a week or so, and then fizzle and go back to the way they used to be? A husband recently emailed me with these concerns, and with his permission, I will be giving you some ideas about this topic today for both the higher and lower desire spouses.  (Link to referenced episode with Dr. Cami Hurst) *** Are you ready to make some changes in the new year? Are you tired of struggling in your marriage and sex life? Here are some things that can help! Intimately Us app (free and paid versions) - a fun and easy way to increase novelty, get education, and increase communication and connection. Free Masterclass: How to Fix Mismatched Sex Drives in Your Marriage (Without Therapy or Pressure) - Get a jumpstart in overcoming desire obstacles Couples Retreat - An intensive, romantic, and life-changing weekend that will strengthen your marriage and sexual intimacy. Get Your Marriage On Program - The perfect solution for couples to get the education from the retreat but on your own timeline. Besides education, you get the benefit of one-on-one coaching, group coaching, and a community to support you in your journey. Small group cohorts within this program also offer intensive help and support. New men's and women's small groups are starting in January! Guides and workshops - Inexpensive learning opportunities about specific topics to improve your marriage and sex life. Private Facebook group - Christian Couples Improving Sex and Intimacy Let us help you get results like these amazing couples in 2025!    

 I studied martial arts for 13 years when I was younger and I became proficient in three different styles of Karate and Kenpo. As you progress towards being a black belt, the fundamentals don't change, but your ability to be more precise and skilled in using those fundamentals improves dramatically.  Like in my martial arts training to being a better lover, the fundamentals such as communication, touch and being present with arousal, and so on don't change. But your ability to use those fundamentals to be better at sex hat's deeply connecting as well as giving and receiving pleasure to strengthen your marriage. All those improve. As you become more quote unquote black belt at at sex.  I occasionally ask my podcast guests for their black belt sex tips. And it's been over a year since I've done a Roundup of the best black belt sex tips offered by my guests on this podcast. So today, I've compiled the best into this episode.  If you like what you've heard from these guests and want to go back for more, here are the links to the full episodes: Sofia Ashley - #212: Create A Party Your Libido Wants To Come To) Catherine Roebuck - #214: When Wives Have The Higher Sexual Desire Josie McEwen - #167: Successful Vacation Sex & Romantic Getaways, According to a Romance Consultant Jessa Zimmerman - #217: Eroticism: What Does Your Sexuality Want?  Adam and Karissa King - #219: How Playing With Your 5 Senses Opens the Door to More Erotic Connection Dan Purcell & Rhonda Farr - #209: Stop Trying to Change Your Marriage. Let Your Marriage Change You Instead. Ally Bullock - #203: Why Honesty, Risk, and some Fair Play Lead To Great Connection with Alyson Bullock Tammy Camp - #151: How a “Good Girl” and Her Husband Bravely Chose a Better Sex Life: A Sextimony Francie Winslow - #178: Why Christians Should Be Having the Best Sex Tilly Storm - #210: The G-Spot Guide: How to Stimulate, Explore, and Enjoy Together! Heather Flake - #158: The #1 Limiting Factor in Your Sex Life, According to a Marriage Expert Tammy Hill - #179: Having An Orgasm vs Living Orgasmically: What’s the difference? Dr. Julie Slattery - #181: 4 Pillars to Take Intimacy From Sub-optimal to First-Rate, Both In and Out of the Bedroom Glenn & Phyllis Hill - #183: The Anatomy of Emotional Intimacy & Connection Codes and #184: Anatomy of a Sex Date Laurie Watson - #149: Afraid Your Husband Will Reject or Ignore You AGAIN tonight? Alex & Kadi Dutton - #130: Lingerie? YES PLEASE! with Alex and Kadi of EveryLove Intimates Mark Goldberg - #193: The Fast and Furious: Over-Coming Premature Ejaculation Sierra Beltran - #170: Behold Your Beautiful Body Through the Lens of Boudoir Photography! Ariel Finlinson - #164: Creating Space for Moms (and Dads) to Feel Like They Are in Control Again Tammy Hill - #201: The Art of Cherishing Your Spouse, Part 2 Danielle Savory - #201: The Art of Cherishing Your Spouse, Part 2 Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife - #200: The Art of Cherishing Your Spouse, Part 1 Katheleen Smith - #195: Are You a “Sexual Over-functioner?” Bonnie Young - #168: How Your Marital Power Dynamics Are Affecting Your Sexual Relationship   Resources If you're in an otherwise happy marriage, but struggle to see eye to eye when it comes to sexual intimacy, I highly recommend you check out our upcoming couples retreat for next March (hurry--prices go up in the new year!). Check out our Get Your Marriage On Program. These programs are effective at helping you and your spouse communicate better about these things in a relationship and really move the needle in the positive direction.   Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

 I am a big believer in play in the bedroom, and I'm excited that you'll get to join me in this conversation with Adam and Karissa King today. Adam and Karissa have a fun Instagram account called Dear Young, Married Couple. And that's how I first met them a few years ago. And get this. They are both marriage counselors. It's a husband and wife team and they are an absolute hoot as you'll get to hear today. I'm grateful we can talk about this topic today because I think all of us need a little boost of creativity and inspiration once in a while, especially when it comes to things in the bedroom, because we all need it to keep the passion alive.   News and Resources Games mentioned in the episode: Sheets and Ladders, Sensation Card Deck If you're in an otherwise happy marriage, but struggle to see eye to eye when it comes to sexual intimacy, I highly recommend you check out our upcoming couples retreat for next March (prices go up in the new year). Check out our Get Your Marriage On Program. These programs are effective at helping you and your spouse communicate better about these things in a relationship and really move the needle in the positive direction. Our first annual "Get-it-on-athon" is in full swing! Learn more about how to support a worthy couple's fertility journey as you come closer as a couple! Are you struggling with how to explore your eroticism? Our new and improved Sexploration List can help! Rank your own preferences and desires in 13 different areas and explore and talk about those things together. You'll discover where your desires intersect and maybe get some ideas you both like, but have never thought of! Intimately Us app - for couples who want to spice up their marriage, get new ideas, and learn how to love each other better.   Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.