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5 de 47

Our New Book! The Seven Principles For Raising a Self-Driven Child: A Workbook
In this very special episode, I sit down with my friend and co-author Dr. Bill Stixrud to celebrate the arrival of our third “baby” — our brand new book, The Seven Principles for Raising a Self-Driven Child: A Workbook. If you’ve ever read our earlier books (The Self-Driven Child and What Do You Say?), and found yourself thinking, “I love these ideas, but how do I actually apply them?”—this episode (and this book!) is for you. We created this workbook to help you go beyond the theory and actually make the Self-Driven Child way your way.Bill and I unpack the inspiration behind the workbook and walk through the seven core principles that anchor it. We talk about everything from building calm, connected homes to the delicate art of motivating kids without trying to change them. Along the way, we share powerful stories from families we’ve worked with, lessons from years of practice, and candid reflections from our own parenting journeys. This episode has actionable insights to support you—and your kids—in building a happier, healthier, and more autonomous life. Episode Highlights:[0:00] - Kicking things off with the big news: our new book has officially launched![3:00] - Why we wrote a workbook and how it supports parents in putting ideas into practice.[6:24] - How old myths about parenting can derail connection, and why reflecting is essential.[8:39] - Real-life stories of transformation when parents shift their approach.[11:15] - It takes practice to make new parenting habits stick—why this book is about just that.[13:25] - Diving into the first principle: “Put connection first” and why it matters most.[15:00] - Principle #2: Be a consultant, not the boss—fostering autonomy through trust.[16:19] - Communicating healthy vs. toxic expectations—and the power of belief in your kid.[17:33] - Why kids need an accurate model of reality (and success isn't a straight line).[21:03] - Motivating kids without trying to change them—how to be more effective and empathetic.[24:22] - The critical role of being a non-anxious presence and how it strengthens the whole family.[25:14] - Principle #6: Practicing radical digital downtime for mental clarity and brain health.[26:26] - Bonus chapter! What education could look like if we built it around brains, not just grades.[33:51] - Our favorite exercises from the workbook—and how they’ll help you build connection and effectiveness. Links & Resources:To order The Seven Principles for Raising a Self-Driven Child: A Workbook: https://politics-prose.com/book/9780143138259 If this episode has helped you, remember to rate, follow, and share the Self-Driven Child Podcast. Your support helps us reach more people and create more content that makes a difference. If you have a high school aged student and would like to talk about putting a tutoring or college plan together, reach out to Ned's company, PrepMatters at www.prepmatters.com
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39:06
From Damsel in Distress to Superhero: The Making of a Teen Mental Health Advocate For Students
If you've ever felt like the challenges of school, stress, and expectations are just too much, you’re not alone. In this episode, I sit down with the incredible Riana Alexander, a college freshman and mental health advocate, who turned her own struggles into a movement for change. Riana opens up about her journey—from a high-achieving student battling anxiety and depression to the founder of Arizona Students for Mental Health, a nonprofit dedicated to improving mental health resources in schools. We also dive into her fight for change within her school district, the resistance she faced, and the powerful impact she and her peers have made.We also discuss the misconceptions around mental health, the role schools should play in student well-being, and how adults can better support struggling teens. If you’re a student, a parent, or an educator, this conversation will challenge and inspire you. A quick content note: We do discuss suicidal ideation and suicide in this episode. If you or someone you know needs support, call 988 for the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.Episode Highlights:[3:10] – Meet Riana: A college student, mental health advocate, and founder of Arizona Students for Mental Health. [5:49] – Riana’s struggle with anxiety and depression during high school and how she found her way forward. [7:55] – The disconnect between academic pressure and mental health—and how schools often miss the signs. [12:45] – The tragic events that sparked Riana’s advocacy work. [15:40] – Facing school board resistance: “This isn’t a school problem”. [25:42] – How student-led advocacy finally pushed the district to take action. [30:29] – The launch of the Hope Institute and its life-saving impact. [32:34] – What adults can do to support struggling teens. [42:16] – The importance of asking direct questions about mental health. [49:27] – Why open conversations and community involvement are key to change.Links & Resources:Suicide Prevention Hotline: https://988lifeline.org/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=web&utm_campaign=onebox How to talk to someone who may be in crisis: https://jedfoundation.org/resource/how-to-ask-someone-if-theyre-thinking-about-suicide/ Washington Post article featuring Riana Alexander https://wapo.st/3Qvyyd7 Arizona Students For Mental Health: Website: https://azstudentsformenta.wixsite.com/azsfmh Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/azstudentsformentalhealth/ Children's Risk of Suicide Rises on School Days: https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/childrens-risk-of-suicide-increases-on-school-days/ If this episode has helped you, remember to rate, follow, and share the Self-Driven Child Podcast. Your support helps us reach more people and create more content that makes a difference. If you have a high school aged student and would like to talk about putting a tutoring or college plan together, reach out to Ned's company, PrepMatters at www.prepmatters.com
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53:12
A Superhero For Student Autonomy in Schools: Talking With Mike Nicholson About What Works
Hey folks, Ned here! You know how much we all want our kids and students to thrive, but sometimes, despite our best efforts, it feels like we’re stuck in the same old patterns that just don’t work. That’s why I’m thrilled about today’s episode. We’re talking about the concept of student autonomy—why it’s crucial for engagement, learning, and even mental health. And joining me is someone who’s not just talking about change but making it happen: longtime educator and reformer Mike Nicholson.Mike has spent decades in education, from being a teacher to a superintendent to a consultant, and now he’s working directly with schools to help them give students more meaningful control over their learning. We talk about what happens when students have more agency, the impact of constant micromanagement in schools, and how even small changes—like making homework optional—can lead to huge shifts. If you’ve ever wondered why student engagement drops as they move through school or how we can turn things around, this conversation is for you! Episode Highlights:[2:46] – Mike Nicholson’s journey in education and why he’s passionate about student autonomy.[4:42] – The shocking decline of student engagement as they progress through school.[6:44] – Why behaviorism (carrots and sticks) isn’t working in education.[10:49] – What educators discover when they shadow students for a full school day.[14:23] – Would any adult willingly go through what we put students through?[22:04] – What school handbooks reveal about the culture of control in education.[33:09] – The case for making homework optional—especially in math![41:46] – A real-world example of a school successfully giving students more control.[45:51] – Shifting school from something kids "have to do" to something they want to do. Links & Resources:Learning InspirED: https://www.learninspired.org/ Download the Autonomy Breakdown: https://drive.google.com/file/d/13O75KCX6TFUPZ8jK6W2aYOlY7M_eWyLD/view If this episode has helped you, remember to rate, follow, and share the Self-Driven Child Podcast. Your support helps us reach more people and create more content that makes a difference. If you have a high school aged student and would like to talk about putting a tutoring or college plan together, reach out to Ned's company, PrepMatters at www.prepmatters.com
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50:54
What I Learned About Motivation From "Ghost Buster" Yegor Denisov-blanch
What if some of the people on your team weren’t actually working—but just good at looking busy? In this episode, I sit down with Yegor Denisov-Blanch to discuss a fascinating and troubling trend in the tech world: ghost engineers. These are software developers whose productivity is so low that they barely contribute—yet they manage to stay employed. Yegor, a researcher dedicated to improving software engineering performance, dives into what causes this phenomenon, why it’s more common than you’d think, and how it affects company culture, team morale, and overall efficiency. But instead of just calling them out, his goal is to understand why this happens—and how to fix it.We also explore how the same disengagement issues that plague workplaces show up in schools. Yegor shares his own unconventional education journey, having dropped out of the traditional system at 14, teaching himself to code, and later excelling in university. What does this say about the way we measure productivity and success—not just in work, but in learning? Episode Highlights:[00:49] - What exactly is a ghost engineer, and why are companies unknowingly paying them?[03:41] - The research behind software engineer performance and why measuring it has been difficult.[06:38] - How ghost engineers operate—are they just lazy, or is there something deeper going on?[10:41] - The surprising psychological and workplace culture factors that push employees toward disengagement.[15:22] - The role of trust in the workplace and why micromanagement can actually increase disengagement.[23:30] - How remote work has changed productivity—for better and worse.[25:18] - Yegor’s unconventional education journey: Dropping out of 8th grade, starting a business at 14, and later graduating top of his class.[32:24] - How personalized learning and self-directed education could prevent disengagement in students before they enter the workforce.[40:30] - The bigger mission: Not just exposing ghost engineers, but fixing the system so they don’t need to exist. Links & Resources:Are ‘ghost engineers’ real? Seeking Silicon Valley’s least productive coders: https://www.washingtonpost.com/technology/2024/12/08/ghost-engineers-programming-productivity-coding/ Stanford Research: Measuring Software Engineering Productivity: https://dpe.org/sessions/simon-obstbaum-yegor-denisov-blanch/stanford-research-measuring-software-engineering-productivity/ If this episode has helped you, remember to rate, follow, and share the Self-Driven Child Podcast. Your support helps us reach more people and create more content that makes a difference. If you have a high school aged student and would like to talk about putting a tutoring or college plan together, reach out to Ned's company, PrepMatters at www.prepmatters.com
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48:03
Student Autonomy in School: Yep, It's Possible!
In this episode, I sit down with Amy Buckman, an incredible educator and school counselor from Ohio. Amy has spent 19 years helping students navigate everything from mental health challenges to career counseling, all while motivating them to achieve their goals. We dive deep into the concept of student autonomy and how it’s transforming schools through an innovative three-year grant program aimed at fostering student engagement and agency.Amy shares how her district is reimagining education by focusing on what really motivates students, exploring concepts like Flex Fridays, and even shadowing students to understand their daily challenges. If you’ve ever wondered how schools can adapt to meet the needs of a changing world while supporting kids’ mental health and academic growth, this episode is packed with insights you won’t want to miss! Episode Highlights:[03:13] - Amy shares her background and her role as a school counselor.[08:29] - Discussion on the three-year grant program promoting student agency.[14:17] - Insights from shadowing students to better understand their school day.[22:35] - How Flex Fridays aim to spark deeper learning and engagement.[30:55] - Overcoming systemic barriers to create better learning environments.[37:05] - The impact of giving students a voice in school decisions.[42:07] - How passion-driven learning leads to happier, more motivated students. Links & Resources:Student Autonomy & Engagement: https://www.brookings.edu/articles/the-disengagement-gap/ A School of Our Own: https://thenewpress.com/books/school-of-our-own If this episode has helped you, remember to rate, follow, and share the Self-Driven Child Podcast. Your support helps us reach more people and create more content that makes a difference. If you have a high school aged student and would like to talk about putting a tutoring or college plan together, reach out to Ned's company, PrepMatters at www.prepmatters.com
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52:37